Spinster? Hmmm. Well I certainly did not follow the template. You know the one where you have a life plan, meet a guy, have kids, and still manage a career?!?!?
Of course I never dreamed of white dresses when I growing up either. There were no lists of the ‘ideal guy’ like my other high school friends dreamed up. No cute baby names floating around.
I was too busy trying to prove to the boys that I was one of the boys and racing around the world every chance I had! Before I knew it I released from the army with no husband, no kids, a swift kick in the arse from the reality of civilian life, and somehow I was already in my mid-thirties. Huh.
So with the big 4 – 0 in the distance…is this the right time to have a mid-life crisis? Should I buy a gym membership, start a juice cleanse, and hop over to the bars on Friday nights in awkward fitting clothes? Panic as all get out about what hasn’t happened in life? To believe that it’s “all down hill from here” or that this is it, life has nothing better to offer?
It’s hard not to panic since Ottawa is sometimes the judgy-mc-judge-pants capital of Canada. ‘Keeping up with the Jones’ is actually a thing here. People compare people (and themselves) to others. Stuff matters. Being married matters. Who invited who to what matters.
The word SPINSTER came creeping in. People would ‘joke’ that I should by a bunch of cats. That I chose adventure over having a family. Spinster. Ugh. It’s a old world that has no place in this new world.
And if you hear these things enough…you start to believe that they matter in your life as well.
No wonder the ‘tic toc tic toc’ of that biological clock monster was sounding off like an effin air raid siren lately. I’m surprised other people couldn’t sense my full on panic as my internal voice was screaming that life is over, I’m going to be a spinster!
Except it’s not. I’m not.
With health science progressing as it has, we are all living longer. That’s fact. So what’s the rush again? Technically, I have another 40 or more years ahead of me. 40 plus more years. Cool beans indeed.
Did you know that emerging adulthood is a thing now? A recognized stage of life in between adolescence and adulthood. Your twenties are meant for post secondary education, dating, traveling, starting a career, and as much life experience as you can pack in before finding your mate, having kids, and moving up the career ladder. Genius.
So my emerging adulthood happened to last two decades instead of one. Meh. I’m in university chasing a third career that I love learning about, there are no signs that my ridiculous travel pace will ever slow down (yeesss!!!), my family and friends are the best of the best, and I’m not hurting in the dating department.
My life is beginning. It’s beginning to thrive, it’s beginning to be comfortable, it’s beginning to be exciting.
Where is the panic?
There is none. I had a temporary case of ‘ottawaism’. Don’t worry, that b#$*& drowned in a glass of wine while I sat on my balcony looking around at the home I love, thinking of the life I built, and smiling. Not perfect, but perfect for me.
Don’t listen to outside noise, you do you when it’s right for you (that sounded a little Dr Seuss-ish but you get my point).